I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
