No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
