i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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