scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
