i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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