Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
