So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize