i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
