dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
