All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
