I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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