So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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