yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
