im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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