girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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