Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
