were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
