Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
