I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
