But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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