Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
