sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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