Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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