Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
