you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
whose parrot is this?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
