Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
