Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize