Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
PANTIES FOUND
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