My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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