I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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