Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
