Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
