in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
