We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
