Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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