I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
