He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
