Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
