i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize