making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
