he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
