dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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