Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
