i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
