Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
