Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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