I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
