My sheets look like a crime scene.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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