I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
