I must be too annoying 4 u.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm bleeding and have questions
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
