we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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