dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
