i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
