Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I believe in your delicious
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
