Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
