That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
