Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
