thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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