my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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