Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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