Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
