i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
