I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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