Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
