She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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