Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
