i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
