yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
