In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize