when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
