Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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