..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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