I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
