Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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