just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
