i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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