u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
its not stalking. its research.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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