there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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