Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
