I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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