There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
