just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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