Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
