So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
